So, as Thanksgiving slips by, be in it – and enjoy it. And as Christmas nears, and our thoughts become about wants and wishes, let's remember the day where we let gratitude overwhelm us... and just how wonderful it felt.
Happy Thanksgiving
No matter how hard our lives or what our problems, each of us are infinitely blessed in ways big and small, just by the breath moving in and out of our bodies and our awareness of it all.
So, as Thanksgiving slips by, be in it – and enjoy it. And as Christmas nears, and our thoughts become about wants and wishes, let's remember the day where we let gratitude overwhelm us... and just how wonderful it felt.
So, as Thanksgiving slips by, be in it – and enjoy it. And as Christmas nears, and our thoughts become about wants and wishes, let's remember the day where we let gratitude overwhelm us... and just how wonderful it felt.
Coming Undone and Redone
 | |
| via Pinterest |
What triggers it is usually minutiae. Tiny little bits of things, heaped onto one another until they seem the size of a skyscraper. One by one eating up a long fuse until it reaches dynamite at the end. I have a moment, feel embarrassed, scold myself and wonder: how did I end up so...angry?
Usually, as I try to regroup, re-center and re-evaluate why I feel so unbalanced, I think about how often I've been on – or off of – the yoga mat. About whether or not I've done any pranayama (breath control). About whether or not I've laid down in savasana and surrounded all things above and beneath me.
The answer today is: I have not done any of that recently. Why? A million excuses come to mind, but, really, there are none that are quite good enough. Without yoga – without that groundedness of warrior pose and surrender of savasana – I will break, again and again, like a tree who has had its branches cut again and again. But with yoga? With the breath letting go of worries and trials and the body softening and softening? I may bend, but, no matter what, I will never break.
What do you love about you?
Say I pressed "start" on a stopwatch. Like, right now, and twenty seconds is all you get. Could you list ten things you love about you?
Here's what happened when I gave it a go. Kind, genuine, smart, great smile
Count them up: that's only four. FOUR. Average that out, and it took me five seconds to come up with each one. Five seconds apiece, and I've known myself more than 30 years. Why on earth wouldn't the adjectives roll off my tongue with fluidity and grace and assurance?
Then it occurred to me: I should see if what I dislike about myself would turn out any different. Again, I hit the stopwatch, and out came: procrastinator, needs more patience, speak up, be braver, not goal-oriented, too passive. Six. Which adds up to two more dislikes than likes. (Not to mention that on the tip of my tongue was number seven, "daydreams too much.")
Isn't that kind of sad? And, more importantly, isn't something wrong with this picture? Too see if anything would change, I did the same thing again but about my husband. My results? The opposite. Plenty of likes rolled out, and I stammered through the things I wish he'd improve. The fact that I could see him clearly but not me makes me wonder if we're trained to look for the best in others but the worst in ourselves, like we're the old kitchen or bathroom of the house, a DIY project that needs remodeling. Is this behavior what all those New Year's resolutions have taught us?
I can't help but think it's time to switch things around. Perhaps, as the holidays and 2015 fast approach, we need to forget about how we think we need to change. Perhaps, instead, we should think about what we love often enough that, in twenty seconds – or even ten – our beautiful qualities spill out with ease and confidence and in great numbers. I wonder...I wonder if we'd be happier. If we'd love more overall.
Here's what happened when I gave it a go. Kind, genuine, smart, great smile
Count them up: that's only four. FOUR. Average that out, and it took me five seconds to come up with each one. Five seconds apiece, and I've known myself more than 30 years. Why on earth wouldn't the adjectives roll off my tongue with fluidity and grace and assurance?
Then it occurred to me: I should see if what I dislike about myself would turn out any different. Again, I hit the stopwatch, and out came: procrastinator, needs more patience, speak up, be braver, not goal-oriented, too passive. Six. Which adds up to two more dislikes than likes. (Not to mention that on the tip of my tongue was number seven, "daydreams too much.")
Isn't that kind of sad? And, more importantly, isn't something wrong with this picture? Too see if anything would change, I did the same thing again but about my husband. My results? The opposite. Plenty of likes rolled out, and I stammered through the things I wish he'd improve. The fact that I could see him clearly but not me makes me wonder if we're trained to look for the best in others but the worst in ourselves, like we're the old kitchen or bathroom of the house, a DIY project that needs remodeling. Is this behavior what all those New Year's resolutions have taught us?
I can't help but think it's time to switch things around. Perhaps, as the holidays and 2015 fast approach, we need to forget about how we think we need to change. Perhaps, instead, we should think about what we love often enough that, in twenty seconds – or even ten – our beautiful qualities spill out with ease and confidence and in great numbers. I wonder...I wonder if we'd be happier. If we'd love more overall.
 | ||
| And that includes you. :) |
Let things click.
Last week, I stayed with friends in North Carolina. On departure day, we pulled up to the curbside drop-off and realized: we hadn't taken any pictures. Not a single one.
What filled the week, though, is in my mind's eye. There was foilage, a beautiful blue-eyed baby, delicious meals, crisp mornings and plenty of laughter and fun. Is there proof of it? Not the kind you can put in an album and thumb through from time to time. But, more importantly: it certainly left an imprint on me.
What filled the week, though, is in my mind's eye. There was foilage, a beautiful blue-eyed baby, delicious meals, crisp mornings and plenty of laughter and fun. Is there proof of it? Not the kind you can put in an album and thumb through from time to time. But, more importantly: it certainly left an imprint on me.
Work for Fall
Spring may be the best time for cleaning, but with its cooler weather and crisp air, autumn holds its own too. And it's the perfect time to clear away the things that popped up unnoticed during the summer and have hitched a ride permanently into our lives.
But I'm not talking about just grabbing a broom or mop. (Although, have at it.) I'm talking about raking up the leaves and dusting the cobwebs from our hearts and brain, and setting out over the next few months with a clear conscience, an open mind and a renewed capacity for compassion. It's about forgiving the little things lingering there or giving them permission to disperse, disband, dissolve.
But how? Well, honestly, I'm not entirely sure. Because this is one of the things I struggle with, day to day, this human tendency to carry too much with me. Just when I think I've let go and sent it into the ether, back it comes. Is that normal? I think so. But, one of these times, it'll be gone for good. I'm convinced the first step is just as it is in yoga: awareness.
On Time
On Tuesday, I saw a child's eyes light up as he gripped a sand timer. "Look!" he exclaimed, happy as ever, right before he flipped it over gleefully and moved on to the next thing before even watching the sand sink to the bottom of the glass.
And isn't life like that, really? While we're busy, the moments are always slipping through our fingertips and rooting themselves firmly in the past. It's all so different from when we were young. From when the years stretched before us like the Gulf, all blue and sunshine and calm, and touching both our toes and the horizon all at once. It was so simple then, to stare out a vast blankness of beauty and know – just believe – that surely life would turn out to be good and well and happy.
It's harder now, to think of time as benevolent. Perhaps this is one reason why yoga says to be in the here and now. Certainly I understand the most basic reasons why – so I'm living and not just dreaming and thinking and worrying (and worrying). But birthdays have this way of setting time right before me, front and center. The whole length of it. And so I wonder, over cake: Where did the last year ago? And the one before? And the next? Because every now and then... it all just feels so far away.
And isn't life like that, really? While we're busy, the moments are always slipping through our fingertips and rooting themselves firmly in the past. It's all so different from when we were young. From when the years stretched before us like the Gulf, all blue and sunshine and calm, and touching both our toes and the horizon all at once. It was so simple then, to stare out a vast blankness of beauty and know – just believe – that surely life would turn out to be good and well and happy.
 |
| by Marlene Wurzbach |
It's harder now, to think of time as benevolent. Perhaps this is one reason why yoga says to be in the here and now. Certainly I understand the most basic reasons why – so I'm living and not just dreaming and thinking and worrying (and worrying). But birthdays have this way of setting time right before me, front and center. The whole length of it. And so I wonder, over cake: Where did the last year ago? And the one before? And the next? Because every now and then... it all just feels so far away.
Some Simple Words
Yoga embraces universal understanding –
the truths of all truth.
It does not require perfection
or point out wrong
for the sake of pointing out wrong.
It breathes, it moves and it adapts –
and, time and time again,
it chooses kindness above all else.
All it asks unto the world
is the same from you.
 | |||||
| via Pinterest |
Are you a fountain or a drain?
With the length of a minute immovable and unwavering, time feels like an attempt to put us all on even playing field. Twenty-four hours in the day for each and every one of us – no more and no less. But...but is time really an accurate measure of anything but our productivity? What about what's more important than getting things done – like usefulness, purpose and the feelings we share and pass on to others? What about energy?
Energy is far from being an equal unit a measure. We're all working with different amounts because we all have our own unique challenges and constitutions. But here's what's the same for all us: our ability to use what energy we do have for good. For the positive. In other words, to be a fountain and not a drain.
What does that mean? Well, have you ever met someone exhausting? It doesn't matter if you spend one minute or 100 with them, you walk away depleted. With less than where you started. With not enough to lift yourself up. Every last drop has been funneled from your head to your toes and out the bottom of your feet. Down the drain. Gone.
On the other hand, are you or anyone you know a fountain? Just as fountains recycle water again and again, people who are like them draw from a finite amount of energy and source it into positivity and joy. They inspire and build others up – often without even knowing. And they are often sheer pleasure to be around.
Perhaps the first way to be a fountain is simply to watch your words. Offer a smile. Lend a hand. Or an ear. And, even better, open your heart. But it's also about thinking less in terms of how long and more about how much energy you have to bring to a situation. I guarantee you, some days it may feel like it's not enough. To someone else, though, it's more than.
The more I see, the less I know.
I do know John Lennon's with me...
So let's say it more often.
Keepin' It Real
From close to day one, many of us are brought up to know that lying to others isn't kosher. What's a little trickier, however, and what gets far less attention, is the importance of being just as upfront and honest with ourselves.
Why? Because honesty isn't only words. It's not just a spoken art. Honesty is how we think. How we live. How we choose to spend our time and who we spend it with. In totality, it's how we put one foot in front of the other and walk through this world, around this earth.
Just as little white lies creep up into our throats unexpectedly, it's a tall order to be honest all the time. We're programmed to self-protect with dishonesty, to deny things, to remove ourselves from wrongdoing. It's my guess, however, that we're all – you and me – moving through life with some thing (or more than a few things) we're being dishonest with ourselves about.
And since we're all evolving and changing all the time, that's nothing to be ashamed of. But can you, can I, can we change it? Find a truth that's hiding under a cloak or veil? I think it's possible. And I think we'll be better for it.
Why? Because honesty isn't only words. It's not just a spoken art. Honesty is how we think. How we live. How we choose to spend our time and who we spend it with. In totality, it's how we put one foot in front of the other and walk through this world, around this earth.
Just as little white lies creep up into our throats unexpectedly, it's a tall order to be honest all the time. We're programmed to self-protect with dishonesty, to deny things, to remove ourselves from wrongdoing. It's my guess, however, that we're all – you and me – moving through life with some thing (or more than a few things) we're being dishonest with ourselves about.And since we're all evolving and changing all the time, that's nothing to be ashamed of. But can you, can I, can we change it? Find a truth that's hiding under a cloak or veil? I think it's possible. And I think we'll be better for it.
How Affirmations Can Help You
I used to work with a woman who was bright and smart and well read and funny. So funny. But as time went on, it become obvious that her humor stemmed from not just the things she thought were silly about life or herself, but all of the reasons why she saw herself as less-than. Suddenly, what used to invoke laughter led to me saying hey now – that's not true.
I don't work with her anymore, but it's my guess she's still the same. After all, we all self-talk, and, for many of us, it's often negative. And not overtly or obviously so, but in a sneaky, sideways, offhand sigh or doubt – or even in the form of wishing something about ourselves was different or better.
Though it's always good to be humble, why, for some of us, the human mind is so incredibly self-deprecating, I'll never know. If you're constantly down on yourself or wishing away who and how you are, the good news is there's something that can lift you out of the mud – no changing required. Honestly. Because you? My guess is you're fine. Great, even.
What is required are affirmations. Yogis use them in class and many others use them too. At their simplest, affirmations are positive self-talk, repeated to yourself daily or even more often. These words and phrases carry loads power and potential for love, gratitude and destroying negative energy.
Besides their capability for overturning self-deprecation or feelings of worthlessness, affirmations are beautiful because they can be created by or for you. For example, imagine someone says to him/herself:
I have thunder thighs, and I hate them.
Well, a good affirmation could be, I have strong legs that let me run, jump and play and carry me throughout life. Make sense? Does it seem too simple and silly? Perhaps it is. But you'll never know until you try, and, like all else keep trying. And in case you're not ready to come up with your own affirmations, here are a few of my favorites, which you can use too. :)
Perfection isn't what I'm after or what life is about.
This is what I can do today. Don’t push; just soften into it.
All good things may not come to me, but I can handle them with grace and peace.
I can handle anything and everything with grace and peace.
My attitude is one of gratitude.
I have brains in my head. I have feet in my shoes.
I can steer myself in any direction I choose.
(Adapted from Dr. Seuss)
My heart is open, and I am ready to love
and be loved.
Namaste.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)