Fearing failure.

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 I'm afraid of failure.

Have I written about this before?

Probably not – because it's embarrassing to admit, especially with my picture off to the right. But here we are. I'm not a perfectionist. Not a type A personality. Not a person who craves success. Yet failure looms in the background of every new idea that enters my head.

Which means I end up in self-inflicted state of inaction.

Inaction. A dirty little word. Why? Because, despite the imagery of and quest for serenity and stillness that it brings up, yoga is not the path of doing nothing. Serenity is not inaction. Stillness is not inaction. Peace is not inaction.

Yoga is a balance of something and nothing all at once. It is work. It is inner and outer movement through all aspects of life, from meditation to playing, gardening and shopping. There is always action. Even here.

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The Bhagavad Gita, a sacred Hindu text, talks a lot about action. Through a story about Arjuna (a young warrior) and Lord Krishna, the Gita makes it expressly clear that renouncing work is far, far away from the path to freedom. From the path of yoga. Instead, it tells us that freedom and lightness – and our life story – are born out of effort. Out of doing. Out of trying. Out of moving forward. Out of action.

Out of releasing attachment to results. To success. To failure.

Be focused on action and not on the fruits of action. Do not become confused in attachment to the fruit of your actions and do not become confused in the desire for inaction (Gita, 2,47).

It's a different thought to process in today's production- and results-oriented society, where livelihoods are intricately tied to the ability to reach a desired outcome. But when has that desired outcome ever been meet through worry, through craving and wishing and hoping? Never. Impossible. Those thoughts only weigh down our hearts and minds, and, in cases like mine, brings around a bad case of inertia. 

So: act. You know all those things you've always wanted to do? You should go do them. Just be in whatever you are doing, and I'll try to do the same. Do your best, with no mindset of pass or fail. The outcome says nothing about who you are. And whatever that outcome is...really isn't part of a yogi's journey. Not yours. And not mine.

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