Seven Keys to Letting Go

How to let go, live and let live:

1. Be in the moment (or at least not in yesterday or tomorrow). Things fester. Too much past or too much future is a breeding ground for discontent thoughts and emotions. In the moment? There's only time for what's happening here and now. Staying in the moment is tricky, though. Sounds silly, but a good way to start is to give yourself a little (gentle) mental slap when you start to drift into dangerous territory. Think of it as lasso-ing yourself back in.
2. Refuse to let your mind play the "what if" game. When I was one or two years into my career, I admitted to a designer friend of mine that so much of my time was spent imagining things. Creating little scenarios in my head. Daydreaming. Cultivating thoughts and things that weren't even real. I thought I'd be alone, but he fessed up too. Two wrongs, though, don't make a right. And, along with launching you out of the moment, the "what if" game uses a ton of energy that's not even being used for a good purpose. Like reality.
3. Decide if confronting the truth would fall on deaf ears. Sometimes, when someone says something rude or snarky, it's easy to spit back a retort without thinking. Or, maybe more often (at least in my case) you keep your mouth shut and later wish you'd said something...anything. Not to be rude. But to say "Hey, I'm not a doormat." But here's the thing. People who are always saying mean things? They just may be mean, and there's not much you can do about it.
4. Distance yourself for a bit. Not just from the meanies in #3, but from everything. Going away or putting some space between you and others can allow you to get back in touch with what matters and re-center and replenish your patience.
5. Self care. I've noticed something about myself. When I'm feeling great and all is well, it's easy to forget crappy comments or insensitivity. They roll off my back, because, well, there's a lot of good in my life and no room for the bad. But, when my health is bad or times are rough, I'm a lot more likely to hang onto gripes or every word. Whether it changes situations or not, a little emphasis on the self can bring that feeling of well being back into order – right along with your ability to forgive and forget.
6. Step away (I repeat: step away) from your phone. Just as things look different in print, things look different on the Web or in email, messenger or hangouts. If someone forgets an emoticon, the message's whole meaning changes...and not always for the positive. Don't keep checking for a reply or another note. Step away and try not to dwell.
7. Breathe. True, this is good day or night. But I find it especially helpful for insomnia. When it hits the wee hours of the a.m., and my mind is spinning, I breathe in to the words of "There is" and exhale the word "nothing." Maybe it's just boring – like counting sheep – but it works.